Chastity vs. Celibacy
I read an interesting segment in the book I'm reading (thanks to Ben). It was discussing the difference between the ascetic (self-denying) and kenotic (self-emptying) paths of spirituality, and how Jesus ascribed to the later. The topic of Jesus's possibly active sexual life came up, and Bourgeault made the point that chastity and celibacy are two entirely different things.
Bourgeault gives us an example from a Buddhist story of two monks sworn to celibacy. Their vows have told them not even to *touch* a woman. They are journeying along and they find a woman waiting to cross a river, but who needs help across. One of the monks walks over to her, picks her up, carries her across the river, and sets her down on the other side. A while after the other monk looks at him, horrified and distressed, and asks, "How could you do that? Do you not feel unclean?"
To which the first monk replies, "Why should I? I picked her up and left her by the river. You are still carrying her."
It seems that chastity, then, is not about what you allow into your personal space. It's not an avoidance. It's not ascetic. It seems to be the frame of mind with which you let it enter. A detachment, a letting go, and at the same time a welcoming. This is the kenotic path.
The difference is in the frame of mind. Asceticism is something you can do outwardly with no inward change. Kenosis requires a completely different way of looking at the world. It is the inner change that drives the outer. There is no need to be confined by outer rules when your inward state is pure.
This is something I've come to notice with much of popular religion. It focuses so much on outward states and rarely looks inward. It seems that religion perhaps doesn't give us any credit in the inward department. Which perhaps makes sense given that much of it considers us to be completely depraved. And this is why so often religion feels disingenuous. It works on changing the outside, which has no lasting or deep effects on a person. It doesn't go down the core.
And really, I think that is what we are all seeking. Something that gets down to the core of our being.
Comments
There are no inner rules. Rules are by nature outward because the change is imposed, it comes from outside. Even if you are the one imposing the rules, they are still imposed. It's not a natural outpouring and therefore works from the outside in.