Chastity
There is chastity only when there is love. When there is love, the problem of sex ceases; and without love, to pursue the ideal of Brahmacharya is an absurdity, because the ideal is unreal. The real is that which you are; and if you don't understand your own mind, the workings of your own mind, you will not understand sex, because sex is a thing of the mind. The problem is not simple. It needs, not mere habit-forming practices, but tremendous thought and enquiry into your relationship with people, with property and with ideas. Sir, it means you have to undergo strenuous searching of your heart and mind, thereby bringing a transformation within yourself. Love is chaste; and when there is love, and not the mere idea of chastity created by the mind, then sex has lost its problem and has quite a different meaning.
-J. Krishnamurti
Comments
I think it has to do with keeping what you consider "love" for the other person from preventing you from being genuinely connected to yourself and to them. So often we get caught up in the "high" of romantic flirtation and sex, and it comes to a point where you want the other person for what they make you feel, not for who they are. It turns you in on yourself more than it turns you outward towards them.
But the truest love is you in touch with your deepest self directly connected to the other person's deepest self. No egoism or self-orientation whatsoever. The deepest love is chaste.
But so few of us ever get there.