Why Christians Should Vote to Legalize Same Sex Marriage
Why Christians Should Vote to Legalize Same Sex Marriage
For the purpose of this article I am going to adopt a distinctly
conservative Christian perspective and write for a distinctly
conservative Christian
audience. I want to put forth the idea that even if you believe
homosexuality is morally wrong, a sin even, you should still vote for
its legalization.
Freedom vs. License
"Freedom and fear are at war. Freedom is not, "being able to do whatever you want to do." That is license. If you have license, rather than authentic freedom, your house is built on sand and will collapse. Authentic freedom is the power to do what we ought to do; the power to choose the good, the true, and the beautiful. That will vanquish fear every time. If your concept of freedom is really license, fear will come out on top every time. Freedom has to be united with truth. There is no freedom outside of the truth: No authentic human freedom outside of the truth. "If you are truly my disciples, you will abide in my word. You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." True freedom is rooted in God."
- Fr. John Corapi
As Fr. Corapi says, Freedom is not license, it is more along the lines of personal authenticity. If God is both Truth and within you, then when you are acting the most authentically and genuinely, you are acting in God's will. Interestingly enough, this does not mean we should forsake license, for license and Freedom are tightly intertwined. If it weren't for license, we could not genuinely choose to do what is right, for we would do it automatically. This is why God gave us free will. He allows us to sin so that we might learn, grow, and come to the truth in a very personal and authentic way. There can be no authenticity, and no Freedom, without license.
The opposite of Freedom is fear, and the opposite of license is restriction. When a society implements restrictions on its citizens, it does not only prevent its citizens from acting authentically, it acts out of fear itself. Even though our intentions are good, restricting the public to do only what is morally right harms everyone. The people may choose the right thing, but for the wrong reasons. They follow truth, but they do so disingenuously. We are teaching them to act a certain way out of fear of the consequences. And we ourselves, who put the policy in place, we are acting out of fear as well. We are afraid that we can't trust people, and that if we don't exert some pressure on them, they won't choose the right thing.
When God looks at us, does He have these fears? Well, His heart is probably breaking all the time, seeing us choose to bury our true selves and choose against His will. But He does not intervene and force us to change our minds. He honors His gift to us of free will, and He lets us make mistakes. He does not act out of fear that He will lose us. In fact, one of Jesus's most persistent messages was "Be not afraid." Fear blinds us, keeps us from the truth. And out of fear we impose God's will on the people in our society, when even God himself will not do that.
The Purpose of Law
Contrary to a lot of current thought, the purpose of Law is not to uphold or enforce morality. Law is about enforcing the minimum standard of action necessary to be a functioning member of society. It is about preservation of society, putting restrictions on license where necessary in order to prevent its citizens from harming each other. Other than that, it should allow its citizens as much license as possible. If you look at many of our current laws (against murder, theft, drinking and driving, etc), we make acts illegal when they harm someone or infringe on their rights against their will.
Morality calls us to a much higher standard than the Law. Christian morality is about rejecting sin in all its forms and transforming yourself inside and out to become more and more like Jesus Christ. And, as I stated in the last section, we cannot force Christian morality on members of our society without denying them the chance to choose it freely. That's what makes morality such a wonderful, lofty, and praiseworthy ideal. It is not something you are forced to do, it is something you choose to do.
Given everything that has been said thus far, as Christians it is our duty to emulate God and allow people to sin, as long as that sin does not harm another person. It may break our hearts to see people shun the truth, but we have to let them. From the standpoint of the Law, we need to allow same sex marriage. To vote against it is to act out of fear, and to thereby distance ourselves from God.
Calming Leftover Fears - Definitions
In order to get ourselves to a place where we are emotionally ready to permit same sex marriage on a political level, we need to address two major fears that plague our hearts.
The first is that by legalizing gay marriage, we would be corrupting an institution that God created. I know this is a sensitive issue, and I will try my best to treat it fairly and gently. We must admit that the word marriage is full of different meanings on different levels. Traditionally, marriage has not always been meant as a spiritual union in the eyes of God. There has always been a social aspect as well. Marriage has been used as a political tool to unite warring factions or countries. It has been used in order to barter out a better life for your family line. It has been used as a financial safety net. Even today, people marry for all sorts of reasons. They marry for money, for lust, or for social status. Some people get married for love, but do not associate themselves with any religious tradition at all.
This does not in any way detract from the beauty and profundity of the Sacrament of marriage in its religious context. It is as if we can talk about marriage on two levels. There is the social/political level, and the spiritual/religious level. The social/political level has changed many times over the centuries without affecting the spiritual/religious ideal of marriage. And so it is today. Allowing same sex marriage affects the social definition of marriage, not the religious one. As a Christian, you do not have to recognize same sex marriages as being approved or sanctioned by God. It is in the name of the State only.
If this proves to be too difficult of a place for us to reach, then perhaps we need to take another route. Many have stated that they are just fine with civil unions, as long as gays aren't allowed to marry. But what is a civil union other than the social/political level of marriage? Although, if we insist on keeping the word marriage solely in its religious context, then we must be fair in how we treat it on a social/political level. By this I mean taking the word marriage out of State hands entirely. Everyone would get civil unions, and then if they chose to take the extra step of getting married, they can do so through their Church.
But it is imperative that we maintain equality between same sex couples and heterosexual couples. When Jesus dealt with sinners, whores, and thieves, did he not treat them as equals? Isn't that what allowed him to get through to them?
Calming Leftover Fears - The Children
The other major fear has to do with what our children will see and be taught with regards to homosexuality. We do not like the idea that schools and/or the media will be telling our children that homosexuality is okay and perfectly acceptable.
Before we go into ways to ease this fear, let us explore for a bit the root of it. When it comes to our children, we want nothing to corrupt them. We want the best for them. And because we are Christians, we want them to grow up with those same values, that they might find their way to God as well. But this leads us to be fearful of letting anything "unclean" touch them. We are afraid that the power of evil is too strong, too tempting, and that if our children are exposed, their weaker minds will be enveloped and there will be nothing we can do about it.
But children can smell our fear. And they react in one of two major ways. They either adopt the same fears, or they rebel against them and challenge them. As we discussed earlier, fear is not truth. Truth is Freedom. Some children sense this on a deep level...that the actions we take are spawned from fear, and so they reject any truth that they might express. Either we perpetuate the feeling of fear, or our children take their lives in a radically different direction in order to reject it.
There is a better way. Do not be afraid to talk to your children. Do not be afraid that they won't turn out how you want them to, or that their lives won't be as happy as the lives you imagine and want for them. Trust God. By working on your own inner state, you can better help them grow up in God's love.
If you adopt the frame of mind discussed in this essay, talking to your children about same sex marriage is not as confusing as many, including the National Organization for Marriage, have made it out to be. By showing your acceptance of it on a political level, you do not give off the same fear, and children are less likely to rebel. You can then explain to your child what I explained in this essay, that marriage for Christians is something even more deep and spiritual and religious than society's definition.
Should your child still grow up and choose to marry someone of the same sex, the other thing that legalizing same sex marriage will do to help you is that it will drastically change the homosexual community. With marriage and finding someone to love seen as the end goal of any life, even a homosexual one, your child will grow up seeing examples of gay men in loving, committed relationships. They will see gay women caring for each other and their children. If your child does end up to be homosexual, wouldn't you rather they choose this sort of life as opposed to one of promiscuity?
This brings me to another caveat to adopting a position free of fear. We must maintain a sort of "detachment" from the outcome. If your child does happen to be homosexual and to choose to marry someone of the same sex, you cannot take it personally. It may break your heart, but to force your child to deny what he feels is truth makes you look fearful and your child will not respond. To give your child a chance at Freedom, authenticity, and Truth...you must let him make his own choices.
Conclusion
In summary, the Christian life is about transforming ourselves and emulating Christ, who is God in human form. In order to become like God we must follow Freedom, authenticity, and Truth...and we must lay aside fear. It is difficult, and there is much resistance. The path is indeed narrow. It is hard to give up what we think keeps us safe. But to do so shows that we really do have Faith and Trust in God, that we are willing to let Him shape events and to adopt His perspective rather than merely our own. In our own struggle towards Freedom, we must surrender our fears about the paths of others and strive, by example, to be a light to the world, should they choose to see it or not.
*As you may have guessed, I am by no means conservative. I tried to adopt that perspective for the sake of the argument.
Comments
See, this is why morality fails: it says nothing about our intentions. If we practiced a system of virtues, which is all about our intentions, then I honestly think fear would be less abundant in our law system.
You bring up an interesting point about believers imposing God's will on others when he won't do it himself. Why do believers feel like they need to impose his will on others?
Is imposing God's will or morality an assertion of one's fear or more of an assertion of the truth of God's will or morality? (Law doesn't really deal with truth. It deals more with "correct" and "incorrect" actions.) Perhaps their fear is more of an unconscious thing?
It's a fear fueled by love, and often we only see the love. Our hearts are in the right place, and so our actions feel justified. And they are, but that does not mean that it is the best action. Actions done out of a root fear (even if that fear is unconscious) usually lead to higher tension and eventual disaster. Fear clings, love lets go.
But it's so hard to trust people, especially when they've shown you they can't be trusted. It's such a difficult situation. But Christianity tells us to have faith, to trust, even when it feels like everything will be lost. Because what we give up, we get back in spades.
Without going into an essay, my argument would be that a parent has a moral obligation to force/coax his child to behave properly. The child learns to use his freedom during this process. The better parents do this coaxing with love and gentleness. Authority of the parent, authority of God, authority of the law.
I believe determinism and free will can coexist, which is why I define free will as the ability to have your choices come from you. Regardless of whether God already knows what you will pick, you are doing the picking. And this is an integral part of authentically coming to love and follow God. If that choice doesn't come from you, or doesn't come from your deepest heart...it's not really a genuine, lasting choice. So, in our emulation of God and in our striving to accomplish his will, we need to make conditions such that people can choose him genuinely. This means, on a political level, allowing as many different choices and actions as possible as long as they do no harm.
And yes, the parent has an obligation to control their child, but not for their entire life. Once that child becomes (or even starts to become) an adult, the parent must do exactly what God does and let them make their own choices while still being present and loving.
Aside from that comment that sprang a whole paragraph in me, it is true that it is frightening. Mostly for me because of what others will think of me if I adopt this idea. I find myself rejecting from exploring new ideas because I'm afraid of what I'll do. When I truly believe something I dont keep quiet about it. If I were to not keep quiet about this, I would be rejected. Makes me small and weak and a coward but that's how I am today. Perhaps in the future it will change.
But I must say my heart does not completely reject your ideas. :)
We need to be able to look at things from two angles. On the legal level, we *do* have to adopt the live and let live idea, because we are setting a bare minimum for participation in our society. This does not mean that the bare minimum is the standard we hold ourselves and our friends and family and community to, it is just the minimum.
We then must see from another angle. We must educate people that if you just follow the law that's like getting a C- in life. Don't we want more? On a community level, not a legal level, we need to have the attitude you suggest. However, this is more difficult, and so many people will just want to force everyone to live up to their standards. Unfortunately, this backfires and creates a society where no one can be truly authentic, because everyone is following the rules because of the consequences and not because who they are inside tells them to.
So, two angles. Legal, and community. :)
Hey Light,
Interesting post... one of the more unique defenses of Homosexual marriage i've ever read. Especially from someone claiming to take "distinctly conservative Christian position." I guess i'm still trying to figure out exactly what was conservative about your position.
I thought i'd float a few thoughts, being raised in a conservative Christian enviornment with a degree in theology from an Evangelical/Pentecostal college.
1. Freedom for the Christian is freedom from sin, not permission to sin. Contrary to what you wrote, God doesn't allow sin, nor is license closely related to freedom. Christ died alone & ugly out side the city that Friday outside the City to take our sins upon himself, becaming a human scapegoat. God placed my guilty verdict on him, & Jesus was my substitute. To be free, in the Christian sense, is to be free from sin, those actions that implicated us in God's judgment of the world.
2. The Jewish Law was given, Paul states in Romans, so that no one has an excuse before God: we all have broken the law, every one of us, and there will be a day of judgment coming, either when we die or when Jesus returns. It was a way for God to say that humanity needs a Savior because we need rescued.
3. Christians are not to judge anyone outside of the Church. Christians are to obey God's commandments & be the best citizens they can be, altho God's law & kingdom comes first. Christ said to go into the world and proclaim that there is forgiveness of sins in faith in Jesus.
4. Both Jews & Christian rest their faith on the same Scriptures, and those Scriptures begin with a creation narrative that features Adam & Eve. The Apostles liken the church to be the bride of Christ. There is no room for a reinterpretation affirming homosexuality in Scriptures where none exist.
Anyway -- interesting post, Light.
1. I agree. Freedom is freedom from sin. But I guess I sawthings a little differently, though I guess this theology is more Catholic than Evangelical. Even for Christians who believe that Jesus has taken their sin...they still sin, do they not? They may not be blamed or held accountable, but they still sin. The way I view Christian freedom, the more free you are, the less you sin. Not just that you are free from the spiritual consequences of sin, but that you are truly freed from sin. And if God is truth, and sin is separation from God, then sin is falsity and illusion. To live without sin is to live in truth, in authenticity, in God. In order to be authentic, we have to genuinely choose what is right, we have to genuinely choose the way God has set for us. This sort of freedom has implications in my everyday decisions, every second of my life, rather than just the idea that my sins will be forgiven, I will try to let God's grace in, let him sanctify me and make me holy so that sin becomes more and more foreign. This journey is never complete, I might add, as we will always be sinners, but it can have a hugely positive impact on a person's life. A huge part of Christianity is about personal transformation over the course of our lives.
As an aside...how can we say God doesn't allow sin? If he is all powerful, he could have created a world without it, couldn't he? But he didn't. This doesn't make him evil by any means. It just means, I think, that either sin is a consequence of allowing us free will, or that sin is part of a process that can allow for growth and love to blossom, given the right conditions. Either way, God is "allowing it" to happen, even if He doesn't approve of or condone it.
2. I'm not sure how this point relates to my essay. When I was discussing Law, I was discussing it in its current form, in our government. Also, isn't there the idea (I've heard people say it) that the people in the Old Testament needed the Law because of the state of mind they were in, and that when Jesus came and showed us the Spirit behind those laws, they no longer needed to be followed? That we did not need to hold people to the same standards because what was important wasn't that they followed the letter of the law, but the spirit? Perhaps my word choice is bad, but do you understand my question? Didn't this revelation of Spirit change the Law to be something more vague and less restrictive, but at the same time, more powerful?
4. In this post, I was not trying to counter that. I accepted that as a premise. But even given that, my point was that for those outside the Christian faith (to drive home what you said in 3)...mainly, for those in our political environment who decide to take that course with their lives...we should let them.
Hey Light -- i'm kinda inbetween classes so my last reply was a bit hurried, so i wasn't as clear as i should have been. Sorry about that.
As for #1: Freedom from sin does allow authenticity: we are agreed. Which opens up a huge problem for pro-homosexual activists. God created us male and female, and wholeness, salvus (healing) comes when God in his salvation makes us authentically male, authentically female. God affirms our masculinity and feminity acording to gender. Jews & Christians have always, at least before the secular Enlightenment, considered homosexual behavior sin. Thus, as we become free, we avoid sin such as homosexual behavior, not embrace it. Shall we continue to sin so that grace may abound? Probably not... Why should I vote to allow something i truly believe to be harmful to those who participate? Freedom from God is freedom from anything that would stop us from authentically becoming the man or women God has created us to be.
#2: i took what you were saying in a theological context -- my bad. The Law in the NT context speaks about Jewish Law, thus my allusion to Paul & the book of Romans. I will say this, however: in 5,000 years of western history, there has been no major civilization that has condoned homosexual behavior, nor codified it into law. There have been instances where a tribal group, based on a hunter/gather paradigm, made allowances, but not from among a complex community like a city state or nation state. When the Spartans and Athenians were done sleeping with their young shield bearers at the end of a military campaign, they then went home to their wife and kids. Adult homosexuality, with one man playing the woman's submissive role in intercourse, is something that is as new a the Industrial Revolution. The only reason this controversy has any legitimacy now is because this nation is completely ahistorical - we have the historical memory of a gnat.
#3. We live in a country where there is freedom of religion. The religion that I adhere to condemns homosexual behavior based on what i believe to be valid reasons. I also believe i have valid reasons to oppose homosexual marriage apart from religious reasons. I will continue to vote against changing the 5,000 year old western tradition as marriage being between a man & a woman based on identity politics. If the majority doesn't agree with me i will indeed be tolerant. I live in Massachusetts, and altho i disagree what the courts allowed here (the state government fled from a democratic state-wide vote on gay marriage like snow in the rain) i tolerate homosexuals who marry because i live in a democratic Republic.
I hope this reply was a bit clearer than my last. Peace, Light.
1. For this essay I am taking that idea as a premise, that being authentic does not include homosexual behavior. But the interesting thing about authenticity is that you must arrive at it yourself. You can't force someone to be authentic, that's completely counter intuitive. I think, if we encourage people to follow what they feel is true, deep, authenticity...they will end up making the mistakes they need to make in order to find out who they truly are, and then, because of their commitment to truth, will follow that path. Either way, it is not up to us to make sure they are authentic. :)
2. Right, homosexual relationships like the ones we have today have never really existed...which could be an argument that none of what was said about homosexuality in the past really applies to our situation today. ;) But that's beside the point. The point I wanted to make was that allowing them to make their own mistakes is a good thing, and that we should try to find ways to make ourselves more emotionally comfortable with allowing it on a legal level, without feeling like we have to condone it on a social level.
Beautifully written! Thank you for this. My late grandma and aunt were devout Christians - and they would agree with this. It's about time the moderate's voices were heard. There are too many extremist voices on Vox drowining out everyone else.
One thing some Christians are forgetting is that I for example could marry as a Christian, but I could also get married by a Wiccan minister or anyone licensed by the state. Ergo, the legalization of gay marriage. Married people have a legal standing with the state - that means that single religions are not allowed to monkey with the laws. No one religion is allowed to have a monopoly on legal marriages.
And your point about allowing God to judge what needs to be done is a good one. The lies and hatred on Vox about gays are most decidedly un-Christian. Gays have been labeled as child molestors and as promoting sex with dogs. The hatred here is obscene. There is no proof whatsoever that a gay is any more likely to rape children than a heterosexual. Yet that's what they're being blamed for - God would see that as sin.
I live in Massachusetts and the only thing that gays have done is to bring more money (spent on formal weddings) into the economically struggling state. They are rejecting promiscuity and adopting children. It's wonderful.
As a Pagan I know what kind of hypocrisy the extremists (I prefer not to call them Christians) are displaying. Moderates like you and I should speak out more. Many Pagans and liberals happen to be pro-authority, pro-community, pro-military and pro-chastity. Good Christians and good Pagans / agnostics make great communities.
Hey again, Light,
My orthodoxy is based upon traditional understanding of basic Christian teaching. One of the most basic is Original Sin. My understanding of this doctrine is that all people are born with rebellion against God hardwired into their psyches or, as we thereputic Americans would say, in their hearts.Calvinists have called this tendency "Total Depravity," but i prefer to call this "Total Inability," as in people are born separated fron God and unable to heal the breach by themselves.
People were created in God's image, but that image was shattered by the Fall (Genesis Chapter three) -- we are like priceless Ming vases that have shattered on the floor -- & was attempted to be put together again with Elmer's Glue. The basic form is there, but its original integrity is missing.
Orthodox Christianity says the only way to authenticity, to true repair, is thru Christ -- that people are saved from their sins by God's grace alone by Christ alone thru faith alone as put forth in Christain Scripture alone to the glory of God alone.
My point, i guess ;0) is this: in our rebellion against God by making ourselves the measure of all things, can we say that people even can attempt
"to follow what they feel is true, deep, authenticity...they will end up making the mistakes they need to make in order to find out who they truly are, and then, because of their commitment to truth, will follow that path."
I would tend to believe that in our shattered & rebellious state that our ideas about true, deep authenticity & truth would be very, very different than God's. The Psalms say there is a way that seems right, a path that feels intuitively right, but the end of that path is spiritual death.
I would agree with you about the laws of the land -- they shouldn't be religious. Ellie has a good point,
"I for example could marry as a Christian, but I could also get married by a Wiccan minister or anyone licensed by the state. Ergo, the legalization of gay marriage. Married people have a legal standing with the state - that means that single religions are not allowed to monkey with the laws. No one religion is allowed to have a monopoly on legal marriages."
I would say that marriage shouldn't be in any way regulated by the State... The only thing the State should offer in this area is Civil Union. I personally believe this union should be between a man & a woman, but if the consensus says otherwise, at least the State would be out of the marriage business & different religious & spiritual traditions could offer a marriage ceromony.
A different reply from our first conversation, but interesting nevertheless.
Peace, Light.
I agree with you that in our separation, we cannot find truth alone. But just because you let someone find the truth on their own does not mean they are alone. :)
Here's the idea I want to put forth: when we follow our hearts, if the path we are pursuing is not an authentic one, eventually the lies will build and build and something will happen. Something unexpected happens, that knocks us over and leaves us breathless. Usually, whatever reality we were trying to avoid by choosing how we did confronts us with ten times the strength.
It's as if God is challenging us at every turn to open our eyes and come to authenticity and truth. We still have the choice to turn away from it, but each time we are faced with a crisis, we are faced with an opportunity. It is fear and pain that lead us to build up walls and enforce and widen the gap between ourselves and God. When the crisis hits, it breaks through all our defenses. As Flannery O'Connor once said, sometimes our heads are so hard that nothing else will do the trick. Reality is something to which we must be returned at considerable cost.
But this doesn't mean we need the other people in our lives telling us when we are being false with ourselves and when we are being true. I mean, it helps to say it in a supportive way, but to enforce it? No.
Haven't you ever been in a situation where, in order to learn, you have to make the mistake yourself? No matter how much people tell you that you're making the wrong decision, it really doesn't matter. You needed to make the mistake. You had to go through the process to come to a place where you could really know the truth.
This is where trusting God comes in. As the person trying to help, sometimes we need to let that person take a path we know isn't good for them, so that they can come to a place where they genuinely understand. We need to trust that God will work in that person's life, whether they are actively trying to follow him or not.
So, as a society, letting someone choose the wrong thing isn't leaving them alone, it's respecting the journey that person must make to find or to notice God's presence in their lives, and not thinking that we ourselves are so important that we need to forcefully show them the light.
And as an aside, I completely agree that marriage shouldn't be in any way regulated by the State. :)