5 posts tagged “despair”

So, I'm having an interesting discussion with a friend on a message board.  He belongs to the Orthodox Church, believes that no one goes to Hell when they die, and thinks that Jesus' message was primarily about *this* life and not the next.  So far I agree.

Our discussion is centered around the events in Christ's life, and whether them actually taking place in the time line has any affect on the meaning derived from them.  I'm quite enjoying this discussion, so I'm going to paste some parts of it here for remembrance sake...and for anyone who wishes to continue it. :)

*****

So, it's important to you because it gives you a warm feeling that you're on the right path? lol, I don't mean it that harsh of course, but if it was important to the apostles, *why* was it important? Surely this seems to be a question worth exploring, right?

I guess I find so much meaning in the story that I'm not sure what affect its historicity would have on its impact?

I mean, say we had the bible, but the names were all changed...would it still have the same power? If it doesn't, is it a meaningful difference, or does it just have less power because it's not what we are used to? Or, say someone came up with undeniable proof that Jesus never existed at all, would that shake your faith?

I think it was important to them for a number of reasons, including validation of Jesus' claims, encouragement in their sorrow, hope that they share the same fate, and confidence that they could now risk their lives and do anything they dreamt of.

I see your point here. And I know for a great many people throughout history it has been somewhat of a security blanket that gives them courage and strengthens their faith. But, I guess, that's exactly my point. It's a huge comfort, and since when did Jesus tell us to seek comfort? Again, I'm not arguing that the story *wasn't* historically true, I just think that we tend to be way too attached to that aspect, and it can limit our understanding so that we miss some of the most profound and meaningful things in the story itself.

I guess I am just wary of attachment to particulars.

For me, even thinking that the story may be entirely myth, I still find incredible power in it. My life experience validates Jesus' claims. The concepts in the story give me encouragement in my sorrows and hope for my own resurrection (mainly in my life here, but sure after death too). It doesn't always give me the courage to risk everything and follow my dreams, because often my vision is clouded by fear. But when I am calm and centered, I see clearly and that courage comes to me in waves. I worry that a courage based on a particular historical event is a way to deny that fear. It's a subtle underlying aspect of human life, and it cannot be denied.

The only way to be rid of it is, as through Jesus' example, letting it in and not avoiding it. It's a subtle thing I'm talking about, how someone might push down a feeling of fear because of their unshattering faith in a particular event...versus understanding what that event tries to show us (regardless of whether it happened that way or not) and listening to that advice and being open and receptive...even to fear and suffering.

Let's not forget though that it was important to Jesus too. For some reason, it had to happen, he predicted that it would, and told his followers to look forward to it.

It did have to happen, in the story, because of what it means. Because of how it teaches us. It would make sense that Jesus would acknowledge that it has to happen, because part of his point is that even seeing something like this looming up ahead in our future, we must not be afraid, for there is nothing to fear. If you imagine Jesus' prediction as a literary device in the story of the resurrection, it makes a lot of sense. Not that it can't be real as well, but it seems that the meaning is there regardless.

But as to why it should be important historically, I guess I don't really have an answer right now, but it seems inseparable from the story, to me anyway. Perhaps they are pat Christian answers, but if it's just a story, and never happened, and the Son of God didn't exist, and the Incarnation didn't really happen, I'm forced ask what the point would even be then? Besides just trying to be a better person by modeling your life after a character in a story. And the Gospels, as well as the other NT writings, and the writings of those shortly thereafter, place great importance upon these events really happening.

Do you really think the Bible becomes empty and meaningless if these events didn't happen? Acknowledging that the events may not have taken place in real life does not take away from the profundity and the *truth* found in the story. This story puts into beautiful and precise terms what so many other stories try to get at...some with better success than others. It speaks directly to our hearts the way only stories can. And there are echoes of these truths in almost every story we write, in almost every life we live. But here we have it unclouded by the fear in our normal stories. Jesus is a character without fear (or rather, who does not act of fear), without sin, and the huge tragedy in his life puts God's lessons to us practically in neon lights.

It's so much more than just trying to be a better person. It's discovering the path to truth, to life. It's trusting in the process, even if it looks like it is leading you toward death...because the path to death is a path to rebirth. It teaches us that there is no need to fear, ever. And that love is a never ending spring; the more you pour out of yourself the more you have. It is about letting go.

Stories are meant to teach eternal truths in such a way that we can resonate with them on the deepest level. Christ's story is one of, if not the, most profound of all. I don't know about you, but when I talk about these things my heart fills with excitement and joy at the sheer *truth* of it all. It's incredible.

Question for you, what was Paul meaning when he said if Jesus didn't really die and rise again, our faith is in vain? If it's not important as an event that really happened, why do they all place so much importance upon it?

Well, I'm not a bible scholar, so I can't tell you what his original meaning was. I can only tell you what I gather from it. Why must Paul be talking about a concrete event? In the same passage he talks about the reflection between Christ and Adam. But you don't believe Adam existed. You have no attachment to the particulars in that story. Yet somehow what Paul says is true, isn't it? That what was introduced with Adam is now overcome by Christ. Is it an event that somehow canceled out a prior event? No, because the prior event never happened in real life. It was a myth. But the meaning of it is still strong...and the eternal aspect of the myth, the truth of it...is now reflected and expanded on in the story of Christ.

I don't think he's really talking about Christ being risen on a concrete level (though again, it may be concrete as well), but on a personal and existential level that goes much deeper. If Christ is not risen, if there is no rebirth after death, then your faith and your preaching are worthless. You do not fully believe in the meaning you preach. You do not truly have faith. You are still in sin because you are still in fear of death and suffering. And in your mind, those who are asleep (notice he doesn't say dead, interesting) have no hope of awakening, so why preach? I think he's showing how their point of view is reflective of an inner state of despair and fear, when it should be one of hope and life.

Anyway, just my perspective.

*****

Nope, I'm not talking Camus.  I'm talking Tarsem.

Last night I went with a friend of mine to see The Fall, a movie done by Tarsem Singh, the maker of The Cell.  Now, I wasn't a huge fan of The Cell, beautiful movie but weird as hell, and I wasn't really all that good at analyzing movies at the time, so I didn't get much out of it.

For this movie though, I had high hopes.  Why?  It has the same sort of surreal and fantastical look to it, but the story is very straightforward and beautiful.  The real world half of the story may have been a little predictable, but I forgive that because of how emotional it was.  My friend complained of being hit over the head with the message, but I think it really worked.

The movie centers around a little immigrant girl named Alexandria who has fallen and broken her arm and is staying at a hospital.  The movie follows her, and everything is seen basically from her perspective.  By chance she meets a man at the hospital, Pushing Daisies' Lee Pace, who has also fallen and injured himself.  He starts telling her a story about five bandits who are out to kill the evil Governor Odius.  What she doesn't know is that he's using the story to manipulate her into helping him.

The problem is that what he wants to do is kill himself.  Obviously he doesn't tell her that, but all the adults know he is suicidal.  There is a lot of talk of suicide and that's why my friend felt like she was being hit over the head with it.  But the reason I think it worked was because we were supposed to be seeing things through Alexandria.  And when you are a child dealing with issues way to adult for you to comprehend, no amount of hearing about them is going to make you understand.  You're slightly aware of these words and feelings floating around in some space, but it doesn't make sense and you kind of just keep chugging along kind of blindly.

At least, that's how my childhood often felt.

If this had been merely a story of how the light of a child saves the life of a man in despair, it would have been boring.  But it's much more complex than that.  It's almost more about her than it is about him.  I think it was a brilliant movie and was worth going to see.  If you don't get this in time to catch it in theaters, make sure you get a hold of it when it comes out on DVD.

Not to mention, the movie was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, especially the way it wove the real world into the imaginary one with incredible tact and beauty.

As promised, a look at the days when compared and contrasted.  Here's a pretty little chart!  Sorry if the thoughts are in fragments.  I swear it makes sense when you read the book! :)

Holy the Firm

More comments on Day Two:

• Heartbreak, "caught holding one end of a love"
• Everything good looks fake
• Chart of possible (bad) reactions to a Day Two event (I didn't even realize that she was providing them until it was pointed out to me):

Reactions to Day Two

More comments on Day Three:

• There are no clean hearts, there are no depraved hearts.  There is no one but us.
• Ambiguity
• Anything can happen - expect the unexpected
• Danger
• Love
• Perfect faith = bad
• We become the flame, sacrificing ourselves to give light to others
• Irony - holding pairs of opposites together ("I am myself falling down slowly, or slowly lifting up.")
• Christ - Human and Divine, Eucharist - Christ with a cork
• Holy the Firm - Matter and Spirit
• Joy, Bliss
  

Holy the Firm

Annie Dillard

• Difference between Tinker Creek:  Enters into human suffering...the *real* mystery of life.
• "Nothing is going to happen in this book."
• This isn't about things changing for us, it's about *us* changing.  It is about personal transformation.
• Like Denise Levertov's poem, City Psalm

"I have seen
not behind but within, within the
dull grief, blown grit, hideous
concrete facades, another grief, a gleam
as of dew, an abode of mercy,
have not heard behind but within noise
a humming that drifted into a quiet smile.
Nothing was changed, all was revealed otherwise;
not that horror was not, not that the killings did not continue,
not that I thought there was to be no more despair,
but that as if transparent all disclosed
an otherness that was blessed, that was bliss.
I saw Paradise in the dust of the street."

• In both days 1 and 2, we think we have life figured out (especially in day 2!)
• In day three, we know more than anything that life is a mystery (I only know enough to want to worship).
• The movement from Day One to Day Two is not in our control, and in fact goes against what we want (remnants of Kierkegaard?)
• The movement from Day Two to Day Three cannot be forced either, and often feels like a revelation
• Day Three inevitably collapses into Day One...and the process repeats...but hopefully we progress closer and closer to truth
• Day Three experiences parallel that of mysticism and gnosis.
• Is there any connection to Nietzsche's three stages?

Symbolism (brief):

• In the beginning, the spider web is holding together beauty and violence
• Islands represent eternity coming into time: "Here is the fringey edge where elements meet and realms mingle, where time and eternity spatter each other with foam."
• Who is a moth lit with flame?
• Julie Norwich (Julian of Norwich was an anchoress and Christian mystic)
• The little god
• Annie herself
• The seraphs
• The nun, thinker, and artist

Okay, that's all I have.  I hope it helped! :)

I am in awe of this man.  What an incredible artist.  He writes children's books, but these are no ordinary children's books.  I really need to buy more of them.  The only one I own as of right now is this one:  The Red Tree.

For those in the book club, I think this book relates really well to the movie we just watched and the concept of despair and how it separates you from hope through denial.

A little girl wakes up to disappointment.  She has a memento of happier times hung above her bed: a red leaf.  We follow her through dream-scape after dream-scape, emphasizing her loneliness, despair, and depression.  She has the sense of a huge weight looming over her, and that wonderful, beautiful things are passing her by and leaving her in darkness.

Little does she realize, but in every place she travels, no matter how staggering the solitude, the red leaf is always there.  But she's always turned away from it.  She can't see it because she's so focused on herself.

But just as she is returning home, and the day seems to end as it began, she sees the red leaf and it grows into a beautiful tree right in front of her.

There's something so incredible about the world we live in.  Even in our darkest times, there is something in reality that is constantly trying to pull us towards the light.  We are constantly being offered a different way of seeing things.   No matter how strongly we turn ourselves agaisnt it, hope creeps in uninvited, waiting for us to see it.

But in order to see the red leaf, we have to keep our eyes open.  If we lose ourselves is depression and despair, we focus too much on our own pain to see the little red leaves in our lives.  On the other hand, if we were to actively seek it, we wouldn't find the red tree.  We can't force red trees into our lives or anyone else's.  All we can do is remain open to the experience, and have faith that though we may not see it, the red leaf is always there, inviting us to life when everything looks like death.

If you have a chance, order this book, and anything else by Shaun Tan.  His illustrations speak volumes, and he has a way of communicating tough truths that even adults struggle with to little children.  In fact, children seem to be more open to the message.  Seriously, do not miss out on this book, it really is incredible.

The Red Tree

Shaun Tan

1 comment

Here's my review of Match Point when I first saw it in the theater:

Went and saw Match Point tonight. Very good movie. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Of course, it's only good if you really understand it. I heard a lot of people coming out of the theater saying how it was pointless and depressing.

It was good because of how very complex it was.

Let's start at the beginning of the movie with Chris' quote on luck. How we don't like to admit how much of our lives are out of our control, how so many events don't seem to have a purpose. Luck is as random as it is meaningless. Chris is a man who is losing faith. Not faith as in some greater power, but faith as in the basic belief that our lives have some sort of meaning. That there is a point to it all.

At one point someone (Tom?) quotes that "Despair is the path of least resistance," but Chris replies back that it is not despair, but faith. In a way he is right. People like to fool themselves into thinking everything is okay, and that they have power over the meaning in their lives. It's easier for us to deal with the tragedies of life by simply paving them over with happy thoughts. But if you do that you ignore a whole side to life. Life isn't all pretty flowers and sun and light. There is darkness there. Ignoring it does not make it go away.

Chris sees this more clearly than anything else. He seems to have a small obsession with the tragic. He also is desperately searching for some sign of meaning. Justice. Freedom.

Freedom is a real trouble for Chris. He is constantly trying to free himself of obligations. He quits tennis for free time, marries a rich girl for financial freedom, and shacks up with a hot girl for sexual freedom. The funny thing is that all of these attempts at freedom lead him to become more and more attached to obligations. His escapes always turn into limitations, each being stronger that the one before.

But even more important to him than freedom is justice. In a world that is completely random, how can there be any justice at all? Chris doesn't think there can be, but he desperately wants to be proven wrong. He is hanging onto faith by a thread. Because of this, Chris is constantly pushing limits. He is finding out how much he can get away with. In a just world, he would be found out and punished.

So he cheats on his wife and lies to his mistress. When he kills Nola, that is the final straw. He wants to be caught. This is his last desperate attempt at proving justice.

If you pay attention, there's something there that at first glance does not seem to fit. When he throws the ring, it bounces on the fence and lands on his side, which should signify his defeat. But when he goes to the police for questioning, he gets off scott-free, right? So he didn't really lose, right?

Wrong.

What happened with the murder investigation was the absolute worst thing that could have happened to Chris. He will have to live the rest of his life with that guilt, but that's the easy part. The hard part is that he was proven right. Justice doesn't exist. Meaning doesn't exist. There is no point to our lives. If there was, he'd be in jail. How can a man live if he has no faith?

The ironic part is that Chris was looking to be punished, and he ended up receiving the worst punishment of all. If he was really paying attention to the signs in his life, the fact that he was proven right proves him wrong.

Chris was punished. There is justice; it just never comes in the form you expect. There is meaning. Sometimes, in the depths of despair you can find hope.