9 posts tagged “fear”

Why Christians Should Vote to Legalize Same Sex Marriage

For the purpose of this article I am going to adopt a distinctly conservative Christian perspective and write for a distinctly conservative Christian audience.  I want to put forth the idea that even if you believe homosexuality is morally wrong, a sin even, you should still vote for its legalization.

Freedom vs. License

"Freedom and fear are at war. Freedom is not, "being able to do whatever you want to do." That is license. If you have license, rather than authentic freedom, your house is built on sand and will collapse. Authentic freedom is the power to do what we ought to do; the power to choose the good, the true, and the beautiful. That will vanquish fear every time. If your concept of freedom is really license, fear will come out on top every time. Freedom has to be united with truth. There is no freedom outside of the truth: No authentic human freedom outside of the truth. "If you are truly my disciples, you will abide in my word. You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." True freedom is rooted in God."

- Fr. John Corapi

As Fr. Corapi says, Freedom is not license, it is more along the lines of personal authenticity.  If God is both Truth and within you, then when you are acting the most authentically and genuinely, you are acting in God's will.  Interestingly enough, this does not mean we should forsake license, for license and Freedom are tightly intertwined.  If it weren't for license, we could not genuinely choose to do what is right, for we would do it automatically.  This is why God gave us free will.  He allows us to sin so that we might learn, grow, and come to the truth in a very personal and authentic way.  There can be no authenticity, and no Freedom, without license.

The opposite of Freedom is fear, and the opposite of license is restriction.  When a society implements restrictions on its citizens, it does not only prevent its citizens from acting authentically, it acts out of fear itself.  Even though our intentions are good, restricting the public to do only what is morally right harms everyone.  The people may choose the right thing, but for the wrong reasons.  They follow truth, but they do so disingenuously.  We are teaching them to act a certain way out of fear of the consequences.  And we ourselves, who put the policy in place, we are acting out of fear as well.  We are afraid that we can't trust people, and that if we don't exert some pressure on them, they won't choose the right thing.

When God looks at us, does He have these fears?  Well, His heart is probably breaking all the time, seeing us choose to bury our true selves and choose against His will.  But He does not intervene and force us to change our minds.  He honors His gift to us of free will, and He lets us make mistakes.  He does not act out of fear that He will lose us.  In fact, one of Jesus's most persistent messages was "Be not afraid."  Fear blinds us, keeps us from the truth.  And out of fear we impose God's will on the people in our society, when even God himself will not do that.

The Purpose of Law

Contrary to a lot of current thought, the purpose of Law is not to uphold or enforce morality.  Law is about enforcing the minimum standard of action necessary to be a functioning member of society.  It is about preservation of society, putting restrictions on license where necessary in order to prevent its citizens from harming each other.  Other than that, it should allow its citizens as much license as possible.  If you look at many of our current laws (against murder, theft, drinking and driving, etc), we make acts illegal when they harm someone or infringe on their rights against their will.

Morality calls us to a much higher standard than the Law. Christian morality is about rejecting sin in all its forms and transforming yourself inside and out to become more and more like Jesus Christ.  And, as I stated in the last section, we cannot force Christian morality on members of our society without denying them the chance to choose it freely.  That's what makes morality such a wonderful, lofty, and praiseworthy ideal.  It is not something you are forced to do, it is something you choose to do.

Given everything that has been said thus far, as Christians it is our duty to emulate God and allow people to sin, as long as that sin does not harm another person.  It may break our hearts to see people shun the truth, but we have to let them.  From the standpoint of the Law, we need to allow same sex marriage.  To vote against it is to act out of fear, and to thereby distance ourselves from God.

Calming Leftover Fears - Definitions

In order to get ourselves to a place where we are emotionally ready to permit same sex marriage on a political level, we need to address two major fears that plague our hearts.

The first is that by legalizing gay marriage, we would be corrupting an institution that God created.  I know this is a sensitive issue, and I will try my best to treat it fairly and gently.  We must admit that the word marriage is full of different meanings on different levels.  Traditionally, marriage has not always been meant as a spiritual union in the eyes of God.  There has always been a social aspect as well.  Marriage has been used as a political tool to unite warring factions or countries.  It has been used in order to barter out a better life for your family line.  It has been used as a financial safety net.  Even today, people marry for all sorts of reasons.  They marry for money, for lust, or for social status.  Some people get married for love, but do not associate themselves with any religious tradition at all.

This does not in any way detract from the beauty and profundity of the Sacrament of marriage in its religious context.  It is as if we can talk about marriage on two levels.  There is the social/political level, and the spiritual/religious level.  The social/political level has changed many times over the centuries without affecting the spiritual/religious ideal of marriage.  And so it is today.  Allowing same sex marriage affects the social definition of marriage, not the religious one.  As a Christian, you do not have to recognize same sex marriages as being approved or sanctioned by God.  It is in the name of the State only.

If this proves to be too difficult of a place for us to reach, then perhaps we need to take another route.  Many have stated that they are just fine with civil unions, as long as gays aren't allowed to marry.  But what is a civil union other than the social/political level of marriage?  Although, if we insist on keeping the word marriage solely in its religious context, then we must be fair in how we treat it on a social/political level.  By this I mean taking the word marriage out of State hands entirely.  Everyone would get civil unions, and then if they chose to take the extra step of getting married, they can do so through their Church.

But it is imperative that we maintain equality between same sex couples and heterosexual couples.  When Jesus dealt with sinners, whores, and thieves, did he not treat them as equals?  Isn't that what allowed him to get through to them?

Calming Leftover Fears - The Children

The other major fear has to do with what our children will see and be taught with regards to homosexuality.  We do not like the idea that schools and/or the media will be telling our children that homosexuality is okay and perfectly acceptable.

Before we go into ways to ease this fear, let us explore for a bit the root of it.  When it comes to our children, we want nothing to corrupt them.  We want the best for them.  And because we are Christians, we want them to grow up with those same values, that they might find their way to God as well.  But this leads us to be fearful of letting anything "unclean" touch them.  We are afraid that the power of evil is too strong, too tempting, and that if our children are exposed, their weaker minds will be enveloped and there will be nothing we can do about it.

But children can smell our fear.  And they react in one of two major ways.  They either adopt the same fears, or they rebel against them and challenge them.  As we discussed earlier, fear is not truth.  Truth is Freedom.  Some children sense this on a deep level...that the actions we take are spawned from fear, and so they reject any truth that they might express.  Either we perpetuate the feeling of fear, or our children take their lives in a radically different direction in order to reject it.

There is a better way.  Do not be afraid to talk to your children.  Do not be afraid that they won't turn out how you want them to, or that their lives won't be as happy as the lives you imagine and want for them.  Trust God.  By working on your own inner state, you can better help them grow up in God's love. 

If you adopt the frame of mind discussed in this essay, talking to your children about same sex marriage is not as confusing as many, including the National Organization for Marriage, have made it out to be.  By showing your acceptance of it on a political level, you do not give off the same fear, and children are less likely to rebel.  You can then explain to your child what I explained in this essay, that marriage for Christians is something even more deep and spiritual and religious than society's definition.

Should your child still grow up and choose to marry someone of the same sex, the other thing that legalizing same sex marriage will do to help you is that it will drastically change the homosexual community.  With marriage and finding someone to love seen as the end goal of any life, even a homosexual one, your child will grow up seeing examples of gay men in loving, committed relationships.  They will see gay women caring for each other and their children.  If your child does end up to be homosexual, wouldn't you rather they choose this sort of life as opposed to one of promiscuity?

This brings me to another caveat to adopting a position free of fear.  We must maintain a sort of "detachment" from the outcome.  If your child does happen to be homosexual and to choose to marry someone of the same sex, you cannot take it personally.  It may break your heart, but to force your child to deny what he feels is truth makes you look fearful and your child will not respond.  To give your child a chance at Freedom, authenticity, and Truth...you must let him make his own choices.

Conclusion

In summary, the Christian life is about transforming ourselves and emulating Christ, who is God in human form.  In order to become like God we must follow Freedom, authenticity, and Truth...and we must lay aside fear.  It is difficult, and there is much resistance. The path is indeed narrow.  It is hard to give up what we think keeps us safe.  But to do so shows that we really do have Faith and Trust in God, that we are willing to let Him shape events and to adopt His perspective rather than merely our own.  In our own struggle towards Freedom, we must surrender our fears about the paths of others and strive, by example, to be a light to the world, should they choose to see it or not.

*As you may have guessed, I am by no means conservative.  I tried to adopt that perspective for the sake of the argument.

So, I'm having an interesting discussion with a friend on a message board.  He belongs to the Orthodox Church, believes that no one goes to Hell when they die, and thinks that Jesus' message was primarily about *this* life and not the next.  So far I agree.

Our discussion is centered around the events in Christ's life, and whether them actually taking place in the time line has any affect on the meaning derived from them.  I'm quite enjoying this discussion, so I'm going to paste some parts of it here for remembrance sake...and for anyone who wishes to continue it. :)

*****

So, it's important to you because it gives you a warm feeling that you're on the right path? lol, I don't mean it that harsh of course, but if it was important to the apostles, *why* was it important? Surely this seems to be a question worth exploring, right?

I guess I find so much meaning in the story that I'm not sure what affect its historicity would have on its impact?

I mean, say we had the bible, but the names were all changed...would it still have the same power? If it doesn't, is it a meaningful difference, or does it just have less power because it's not what we are used to? Or, say someone came up with undeniable proof that Jesus never existed at all, would that shake your faith?

I think it was important to them for a number of reasons, including validation of Jesus' claims, encouragement in their sorrow, hope that they share the same fate, and confidence that they could now risk their lives and do anything they dreamt of.

I see your point here. And I know for a great many people throughout history it has been somewhat of a security blanket that gives them courage and strengthens their faith. But, I guess, that's exactly my point. It's a huge comfort, and since when did Jesus tell us to seek comfort? Again, I'm not arguing that the story *wasn't* historically true, I just think that we tend to be way too attached to that aspect, and it can limit our understanding so that we miss some of the most profound and meaningful things in the story itself.

I guess I am just wary of attachment to particulars.

For me, even thinking that the story may be entirely myth, I still find incredible power in it. My life experience validates Jesus' claims. The concepts in the story give me encouragement in my sorrows and hope for my own resurrection (mainly in my life here, but sure after death too). It doesn't always give me the courage to risk everything and follow my dreams, because often my vision is clouded by fear. But when I am calm and centered, I see clearly and that courage comes to me in waves. I worry that a courage based on a particular historical event is a way to deny that fear. It's a subtle underlying aspect of human life, and it cannot be denied.

The only way to be rid of it is, as through Jesus' example, letting it in and not avoiding it. It's a subtle thing I'm talking about, how someone might push down a feeling of fear because of their unshattering faith in a particular event...versus understanding what that event tries to show us (regardless of whether it happened that way or not) and listening to that advice and being open and receptive...even to fear and suffering.

Let's not forget though that it was important to Jesus too. For some reason, it had to happen, he predicted that it would, and told his followers to look forward to it.

It did have to happen, in the story, because of what it means. Because of how it teaches us. It would make sense that Jesus would acknowledge that it has to happen, because part of his point is that even seeing something like this looming up ahead in our future, we must not be afraid, for there is nothing to fear. If you imagine Jesus' prediction as a literary device in the story of the resurrection, it makes a lot of sense. Not that it can't be real as well, but it seems that the meaning is there regardless.

But as to why it should be important historically, I guess I don't really have an answer right now, but it seems inseparable from the story, to me anyway. Perhaps they are pat Christian answers, but if it's just a story, and never happened, and the Son of God didn't exist, and the Incarnation didn't really happen, I'm forced ask what the point would even be then? Besides just trying to be a better person by modeling your life after a character in a story. And the Gospels, as well as the other NT writings, and the writings of those shortly thereafter, place great importance upon these events really happening.

Do you really think the Bible becomes empty and meaningless if these events didn't happen? Acknowledging that the events may not have taken place in real life does not take away from the profundity and the *truth* found in the story. This story puts into beautiful and precise terms what so many other stories try to get at...some with better success than others. It speaks directly to our hearts the way only stories can. And there are echoes of these truths in almost every story we write, in almost every life we live. But here we have it unclouded by the fear in our normal stories. Jesus is a character without fear (or rather, who does not act of fear), without sin, and the huge tragedy in his life puts God's lessons to us practically in neon lights.

It's so much more than just trying to be a better person. It's discovering the path to truth, to life. It's trusting in the process, even if it looks like it is leading you toward death...because the path to death is a path to rebirth. It teaches us that there is no need to fear, ever. And that love is a never ending spring; the more you pour out of yourself the more you have. It is about letting go.

Stories are meant to teach eternal truths in such a way that we can resonate with them on the deepest level. Christ's story is one of, if not the, most profound of all. I don't know about you, but when I talk about these things my heart fills with excitement and joy at the sheer *truth* of it all. It's incredible.

Question for you, what was Paul meaning when he said if Jesus didn't really die and rise again, our faith is in vain? If it's not important as an event that really happened, why do they all place so much importance upon it?

Well, I'm not a bible scholar, so I can't tell you what his original meaning was. I can only tell you what I gather from it. Why must Paul be talking about a concrete event? In the same passage he talks about the reflection between Christ and Adam. But you don't believe Adam existed. You have no attachment to the particulars in that story. Yet somehow what Paul says is true, isn't it? That what was introduced with Adam is now overcome by Christ. Is it an event that somehow canceled out a prior event? No, because the prior event never happened in real life. It was a myth. But the meaning of it is still strong...and the eternal aspect of the myth, the truth of it...is now reflected and expanded on in the story of Christ.

I don't think he's really talking about Christ being risen on a concrete level (though again, it may be concrete as well), but on a personal and existential level that goes much deeper. If Christ is not risen, if there is no rebirth after death, then your faith and your preaching are worthless. You do not fully believe in the meaning you preach. You do not truly have faith. You are still in sin because you are still in fear of death and suffering. And in your mind, those who are asleep (notice he doesn't say dead, interesting) have no hope of awakening, so why preach? I think he's showing how their point of view is reflective of an inner state of despair and fear, when it should be one of hope and life.

Anyway, just my perspective.

*****

How do you find that place of detached and centered love when you're scared to death?  Fear makes you act stupid, controlling, suspicious, and makes you feel worthless.  It makes it all worse.  But the only thing you can do is work on your self, and your own reactions.  Regardless of what others may do, you still control your reactions to them. 

It seems so easy, to stop and turn your outlook around.  Just quell the fear and act from your center.  It will keep you from feeling that intense fear that leaves you grasping and unable to let go.  It may be simple, but it's not easy.  The fear sneaks up on you.  It's not until afterward that you realize it has taken hold of you.  You acted petty, and you even tried to hide your motives from yourself.  You were completely innocent, not suspicious at all. Lies. 

Admit the truth.  You're scared.  And you're letting the fear turn you into something that isn't you, that you never wanted to be but always felt the potential for somewhere within yourself.  Your heart feels twisted, and escape feels impossible.  For where is there to go but into more fear and hurt?

But just...stop.  Tell all the voices of worry and fear and pain to shut up for one second.  Feel yourself fixed, still, present to the moment.  Expand your awareness to encompass more than the situation that turns you ugly.  Remember.  Remember everything else. The sky, the trees, your comfy couch, the people you love, the person you love.  Even in this moment there are a million things around you worthy of your attention.  Look at them, notice them. 

The fear subsides.  Now imagine yourself pouring out into everything you see.  There.  There it is. Your center.  You've found it.  Now, remembering that big world, look back on the small one.  It looks different now.  Closer, but more distant at the same time.  The pain of it does not go away, but somehow it doesn't penetrate you, because you can let your love expand and fill it.

What happens is no longer of consequence.  Let it be.  Love it.

Just love it.

"The free will we are endowed by our Creator is the very thing that defines our existence-- creation without free will is creation without love; ironically, it is love, and only love, that can create life, for all goodness rests in love. That which is not love is only for tearing down." -Amanda

If we approach life through love, then we are much more relaxed.  We do not grasp at things or at people.  We love them without wanting to possess them because we do not fear emptiness.  We have found that emptiness is a window through which we might view love, truth, and authenticity on the deepest level.  Love, it seems, is about letting go.  And this letting go does imply a will to let each and every creature or force behave as it is.

"This is what is meant of the Something More when I say it is "the individuality and unity of life."" -Amanda

You seem to be getting at something essential here.  Two components of God.  Individuality, unity.  Others have labeled them immanence and transcendence, or the Sophia and the Logos.  It is an ironic view of God, because it holds two seemingly opposite qualities together.  For me, this idea is absolutely essential to my concept of God. 

I understand your flirting with pantheism, because strict monotheism doesn't seem to give you the same impression of cohesiveness and unity.  It emphasizes God being set apart, transcendent.  While this feels true to you, it doesn't emphasize how present God feels. How he brings us together and exists in every level of his creation.

I also understand your hesitance to take on pantheism.  Christians have long looked down on it.  You do not want to lose the transcendent aspect of God.  But you don't have to. :)

I suggest you look into panentheism. It's monotheism and pantheism combined.  The ironic God.  Both immanent and transcendent.  And the fun part?  You can find traces of it (along with mysticism) in every single religion.  I believe it is a more accurate description of how God feels to us.

As far as the art and artist, I think God's presence goes deeper than that.  To me, God is the artist, but he is also the canvas, the paint, the will and the life of the art itself.  Once he has created, he lets it take on a life of its own, but it is not separate, not on the most fundamental level.  For though it does as it wills, it is made of the canvas and paint.  It is free and separate on one level, but it is made of God on another.  In every living thing exists a spark of God's presence.

And on the topic of free will...I actually think that the more you reveal this spark, the freer you are.  The more you let it become buried, the more ignorant you are of your true nature, and the more bound to separation you become.

So, paradoxically, I think that to be free *is* to be one with God.  To have your will freely join with his.  It is rather ironic that in order to become truly free, we do not start bound and have to separate ourselves, but the reverse.  The moment we are born we are introduced to separation, and our lives are a quest to find a way to rebind (re-lig  the root of the word religion) ourselves with the essential unity and become free.

Seen at Sujatin's blog.

Seeing the suffering in the world around us and in our own bodies and minds, we begin to understand suffering not only as an individual problem, but as a universal experience. It is one of the aspects of being alive. The question that then comes to mind is: If compassion arises from the awareness of suffering, why isnt the world a more compassionate place? The problem is that often our hearts are not open to feel the pain. We move away from it, close off, and become defended. By closing ourselves off from suffering, however, we also close ourselves to our own wellspring of compassion. We dont need to be particularly saintly in order to be compassionate. Compassion is the natural response of an open heart, but that wellspring of compassion remains capped as long as we turn away from or deny or resist the truth of what is there. When we deny our experience of suffering, we move away from what is genuine to what is fabricated, deceptive, and confusing.

So my good friend and neighbor Scott has started a new blog called There's Treasure Everywhere.  It's a place where multiple contributors post about hints of beauty and spirituality that we find in everyday things like music, movies, books, poetry, etc.

So, today I wrote my first post over there.  It's about a children's record I used to listen to when I was a kid, and the new meaning it has for me now as an adult.  Check it out.

:)

I still haven't watch Mulholland Drive, mainly because I haven't had any time to watch the current movie I have checked out from Netflix.

But I have been reading Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.  Turns out I'd only read a couple of chapters in that class I took in college, so much of it is stuff I haven't read before.  It's really amazing.  Here are some brand new quotes that stuck out to me:

"We keep waking from a dream we can't recall, looking around in surprise, and lapsing back, for years on end.  All I want to do is stay awake, keep my head up, prop my eyes open, with toothpicks, with trees."

"And we the people are vulnerable.  Our bodies are shot with mortality.  Our legs are fear and our arms are time.  These chill humors seep through our capillaries, weighting each cell with an icy dab of nonbeing, and that dab grows and swells and sucks the cell dry."

"What if I fell in a forest: Would a tree hear?"

"Our life is a faint tracing on the surface of mystery."

"It was the perfect picture of utter spirituality and utter degradation."

Here's my obligatory Halloween post. :)

How to really inspire fear...